lez be honest.

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hey all. i’ve got a question for you?

i want to know what you think is a good response (in a professional environment) to say to people (men and women alike) that say “well, what does she expect when she dresses like that?” (referring to the way women are treated (objectified) or their probability of being raped because of the way they dress)
it infuriates me but because i’m so shocked when it is said, and leery of how to reply since i’m at work, i actually become speechless.. which you all know is a rarity for me. haha. so let me know what works for you/your suggestion!

  1. femme-gone-rogue answered: How about ‘she expects to be treated with dignity and respect because she’s a human being’? That’s work appropriate, right?
  2. akexis answered: She expects people to understand she’s taking control of her own sexuality. Sad you think it’s okay to victimize her.
  3. unspokenaffection answered: i would just say “exactly how she is treated (pointing to someone who is dressed “appropriately”)
  4. dako0lone said: or “the way he/she dresses isn’t a way for people to see if they can ‘touch’ or not. everyone should already know to keep their hands to themselves. sexual assault happens not because someone dresses a certain way.” super late but here you go =]
  5. dako0lone answered: i would say “it still doesn’t give people permission to treat her that way.”
  6. thisistashas answered: It is a tough one.Maybe, why are we blaming the victim? What about the rapist?/Freedom of expression should not lead to objectification/rape
  7. in-vul-nrable answered: I usually say, She expects to be treated like the human being that she is.
  8. ehekic answered: it’s not clear what she expected, but he decided to have sex with her regardless
  9. apheliongoddess answered: Did you hear that peoples attire is not necessary reflective of their persona. Wild huh?
  10. leztryagain answered: She wears it for herself, to make herself feel good. I doubt she wears it for you (I’d add a sneer and walk off)
  11. oceanlover answered: I would just simply say no woman deserves to be treated wrongly simply because of what she is wearing.
  12. truthandbone said: It’s an insult to men, as that line of thinking implies that men (not all rapists are men, but for the sake of succinctness) are creatures without control. That the moment a woman shows off just a bit too much e becomes an ape.
  13. badassgirlz answered: i just read this today, maybe this helps? chichaaang.tumblr.com/p…
  14. blazinturtle said: “Sorry, but I really don’t think that somebody has the right to rape another person regardless of what they’re wearing.”
  15. farcasters said: You can ask them in a polite and honestly interested tone if they realize that´s the exact same line most sexual offenders use to try to justify their criminal acts against women.
  16. flyingupsidedwn answered: You might try: I would guess she expects to be treated the same as anyone dressed any way. With respect.
  17. ration-assasin answered: So if someone breaks into your house and has sex with you against your will while you are in the shower I guess that’s o.k then…
  18. live-laugh-love-elephants answered: i guess i would ask why a woman’s clothes strip away his ability to control himself.
  19. stillwarmlysuspiring answered: I’m torn; I’m the same no matter how I’m dressed. But you don’t leave your iPad in a parked car downtown. Doesn’t make stealing right.
  20. aintnoother answered: aintnoother.tumblr.com/… the post is too long to type but it’s worth a read
  21. thispoemisattention answered: maybe, “yeah a lot of people think that, but actually clothes don’t imply consent. ever.”
  22. fitforafemme answered: Share that it makes you uncomfortable, and that victim-blaming is wrong. Notify HR if it escalates!
  23. bluecameleon answered: sarcastic answer: You’re right. If she dresses like that, everyone should treat her like a free whore that doesn’t deserve respect or a say
  24. whistlestop-cafe answered: Say that, no matter what the woman dresses or does, only yes is yes.
  25. gostosahahamentira answered: You should respond: Is because of people that think like you that a lot of rapists are out of jail
  26. dogbun answered: “nothing about a woman says yes except when she actually *says yes.*”
  27. fallstar answered: Ask them if they see their son’s, brother’s and husbands as all potential rapists, because that’s what their saying.
  28. you-had-me-at-hello-jmb answered: I honestly don’t know. I would be like, “okay, If I wore a shirt that said ‘please kill me’ would that make murder okay?”
  29. lezbhonest posted this